Monday, November 27, 2006

Forty Six Million Americans

Forty-Six Million Americans
By Mark Lysgaard
11/27/06

Forty six million Americans pray
They won’t get sick or deathly ill.
A handful of private insurers say
We have profits we need to fill.

Forty six million Americans expect
There’ll be a change for the common good.
A new congress will hopefully detect
There really is no corporate personhood.

Forty six million Americans are
Mostly kids we won’t ever see.
Homeless and hopeless living in cars
Is this really the land of the free?

CEO William McGuire last year
With United Healthcare Inc
Made 1.78 billion dollars, do you hear?
In a salary, kinda makes ya think.

That 1.78 billion could be used
To help insure those with the least.
Instead of a system set to abuse
And feeding the corporate beast.

So what about the 46 million Americans
Who prey they won’t get deathly ill?
Will Congress have to start over again?
Do we the people have the new will?

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Lend Me Your Earmarks

Lend Me Your Earmarks…
(Thanks to Tax Payers for Common Sense)
By Mark Lysgaard
11/26/06

Like Billy Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar
We’ll see how the new congress spends.
Will Nancy Pelosi like Marc Anthony
Challenge those special interest friends?

Legislators, Americans and lobbyists;
Lend me your earmarks…
Will she bury Bush and his illegal wars;
Closing the purse strings for the sharks?

Corporate sharks that circle the pork
Like Ted Steven’s Bridge to No Where.
Two hundred million taxes gone
For an island of fifty to share.

Fifty into two hundred million
Is four million dollars a piece.
Who are the fifty who are worth that much?
Why are our taxes funding their feast?

Democratic Daniel Inouye
Is the Senate Defense Appropriation’s boss?
Hawaii received the second highest pork
Say Aloha to all our tax dollars lost

Will Nancy Pelosi like Marc Anthony
Hold both parties to the pork barrel fire?
Will the tax earmarks be scrutinized
So lawmakers will no longer conspire?

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Pen Cell Research

Pen Cell Research
(Rep John Conyers [D] Michigan has the awesome opportunity on the House Judiciary Committee to call witnesses and subpoena testimony on the crimes committed by the Bush administration. Go John Go!! And Have a Happy Thanksgiving!)
By Mark Lysgaard
11/23/06

There’s a smart analyst in the House Judiciary
And he could bring the whole House down.
He’s an analyst
With a laundry list
Of information that was previously bound.

Some people say that impeachment is off the table
But it appears to have fallen on the floor.
To investigate
Before it’s too late
And find who may be kicked out the door.

But Mr. Conyers with subpoenas to send
May get testimony like a choir in church.
From reactionaries
Who may sing like canaries
That will aid the Pen Cell Research.

They say the pen is mightier than the sword
But this pen keeps the criminals inside.
The Pen Cell Research
Are for crimes that perch
High above the impeachment guide.

Pen Cell Research is the science of justice
Where the law is anything but vague.
To measure the pen
It could be five by ten.
If Bush and Cheney ever make it to The Hague.

Ranks A Lott

Ranks A Lott
(A poem for Trent Lott [R] Mississippi, the new House minority Leader)
By Mark Lysgaard
11/21/06


He was the Lott heard round the world,
Defending Strom Thurmond’s past.
Just good ole boys
Out to destroy
Civil Rights or at least harass.

The minority cast stood up for a vote
And Gordon Smith defended the Lott.
It’s his Lott in life
For racial strife.
We could learn by the hate he’s taught.

Just like a case of Montezuma’s Revenge
Trent Lott has a habit of giving.
As Minority Whip
With no reality grip
That’s one way to make a living.

So as the Republicans continue to exist
In a world of public relations disasters.
Minority whip Lott
Will give what he’s got
But this time he’s not the real master.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Glenn Beck's Train Wreck

Glenn Beck’s Train Wreck
(CNN Right-wing talk show host, Glenn Beck’s interview with newly elected Democratic Congressman Keith Ellison, a proud American and Muslim. Beck plays the fear by association card when asking Ellison to prove that Ellison is not working with the enemy. Unbelievable!)
By Mark Lysgaard
11/17/06


There’s a new talk show conductor
On the CNN Republican train.
His name’s Glenn Beck;
Here comes the train wreck
Of racist steam for Republican shame.

Tell me congressman, as a Muslim
“Prove to me you’re not working with the enemy!”
This Beck xenophobe
Verbally disrobed
His fear and loathing for American hegemony.

The terror train picked up steam
Fueling fright like those HUAC* hearings.
Prove something you’re not
Is a foolish cheap shot;
Proving a negative is hardly endearing.

But Keith Ellison responded in kind
His love of this patriotic nation.
Not having to prove
His Muslim roots
Or feeling guilty by association.

Should conductor Beck have to prove
That he’s not working with Christian extremists?
That blow up women’s clinic
Like Army of God cynics.
Maybe Beck should be on a terror watch list.

It’s the Right-wing train of thought
On the Neo-Con track to dead ends.
Using negative conclusions
For Right-wing confusion
This train wreck keeps happening again.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

The Five Fifteen

The Five Fifteen
By Mark Lysgaard
11/16/06

The five fifteen is the time it takes
For some to run a pretty quick mile.
The five fifteen is an area code
In Iowa if I need to dial.

The five fifteen was the name of a train
That ran in the distant past.
Will five fifteen be the price per gallon
Of liquid gold we call gas?

Five fifteen is the interest rate
On federal education loans.
The five fifteen was a flight I took
From DC to go back home.

But five fifteen is still the minimum wage
For the ten long years it sat.
Shouldn’t five fifteen be called eight dollars;
Moving forward instead of looking back?

Five fifteen should be an old wage
We remember from the past.
Raising five fifteen to help the working poor
Will only help grow the middle class.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Daddy Dearest

Daddy Dearest
(After lying to the press about keeping Rumsfeld till the end of his administration, little boy W. calls daddy Bush 41 to take over the selection of Defense Secretary)
By Mark Lysgaard
11/13/06


He was the little boy who cried, “Wolfowicz”
To build an illegal war.
Now he’s crying for daddy dearest
Since Rummy was kicked out the door.

Poppy Doc Bush in his neo-con crew
Gave the little boy a helping hand.
James Baker said, “Put Robert Gates in charge…
He’s not military, but he might have a plan.”

Gates served under Iran/Contra Casey
As a Central Intelligence analyst.
Just as Reagan funded the Moesha Hadean
And the Soviets gave in to paralysis.

The Moesha Hadean grew with our help
With the leadership of Osama bin Laden,
New roots morphed to form Al Qaeda.
How quickly America’s forgotten.

So will Gates swings through the Senate hearings
As one of the architects of our enemy?
Will more boogey men likely appear
For our military hegemony?

Monday, November 13, 2006

The Democratic Diner

The Democratic Diner
By Mark Lysgaard
11/13/06

The Democratic Diner is soon to open
With a healthy menu that’s fit and stable.
But head Chef Pelosi of the people’s diner,
Said, “Impeachment is off the table.”

But the impeach tree is ready and ripe
With the fruit of justice ready to be picked.
Impeaches are part of a nutritious diet
To keep democracy from getting sick.

Perhaps if “impeachment is off the table”
She really meant it’s on the floor.
Chef Conyers can pick up the fruit of justice
Since America is hungry for more.

Or maybe impeachment is on the counter
Or soon to be baking in the stove.
Impeach pie may smell good pretty soon
Unless your Bush, Cheney, or Rove.

Let’s make sure the chefs know upfront
That we are hungry for impeach pie.
Even if it follows progressive entrees
Like Medicare and minimum wage rise.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Bi-Partisan Cheese (Bush Acceptance Speech)

Bi-Partisan Cheese
By Mark Lysgaard
11/11/06


I had to buy bi-partisan cheese
Now the Dems hold the mighty purse strings.
I don’t mind holding my Crawford nose
As I eat with the Liberal Left-wing.

This Bi-partisan cheese is very new
And it tastes real bitter and sour.
It doesn’t taste like my Royal Blue Cheese
That I ate each despotic hour.

Can’t I have bi-partisan cheese
With southern crackers and signing notes?
What’s that ya say ‘bout bi-partisan cheese?
It won’t allow me to sit and gloat.

Why can’t I have my bi-partisan cheese
With a glass of Autocratic whine?
It’s a whine I made from sour grapes
After losing the congress this time.

Some people like sharp cheddar cheese
On their desserts like apple pie.
Do I really need bi-partisan cheese
Sprinkled on my buffet of lies.

I will eat the Bi-partisan cheese
As long as it’s not fed to a grand jury.
But please don’t make me eat my words.
Impeach pie should be forgotten in a hurry.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

The New Democratic Party Theme song...

(as sung to a familar jingle...)

Ding Dong the GOP is gone
The wicked GOP
The GOP FLIP FLOPS
Ding Dong the wicked GOP is gone.

Wake up you sleepy Dems
Hit the streets for the House and Sen
Ding Dong the wicked GOP is gone.

They'll go where old GOPsters go
Far away and down below.
The devil's making room for them to grow!!

Let's open up and sing and ring
Democracy is a very good thing.
We're singing to give notice to the king!!

The whole world knows
The GOP is gone!
So come along
And sing this song.
Let's shout out now
The wicked GOP is gone!!

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

The Dick-Triloquist




Robocalls and Push Polls

RoboCalls & Push Polls
By Mark Lysgaard
11/7/06

There’s no such thing as clean campaigning
From the party of elephant turds.
A computer database
And a phone interface
Dials millions with misleading words.

It’s robocalls to many Dem voters
By the GOP in a dirty disguise.
It’s past Halloween
For this dirty scheme,
But the mask helps protect the lies.

Twenty automated calls per voter
From midnight to six in the morn.
To suppress the vote
For a Dem scapegoat
The GOP calls like cynics with scorn.

Would you vote for this Democrat
If he was a pedophile and heroin user?
These push poll calls
Hope the Dems fall
And avoid the polls like self hating losers.

But the avalanche wins have already started
As the Dems see through the trap.
The GOP
In it’s infamy
Will lose the House by giant gaps.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Saddam's Gone While Rumsfailed

Saddam’s Gone While Rumsfailed
By Mark Lysgaard
11/6/06

The verdict came down in the court
Right before our mid term elections.
Saddam will be gone
For Bush’s swan song,
But Rumsfailed keeps facing rejection.

The Armed Forces Newspaper said
The Don of Defense must resign.
There’s no belief
That troop relief
Will improve in Rumsfailed’s time.

But Saddam is gone, let’s celebrate
Came the talking points from the press.
As Bush campaigned
In the Midwest plains
Let’s not talk about Rumsfailed’s mess.

Saddam is evil and deserves what he gets
For killing his critics and Baath renegades.
But didn’t Saddam
Meet with the Don
To purchase weapons that were American made.

The right-wing press is like a power vacuum
Sucking up facts that the Right-wing assailed.
Because American history
Is tied to the misery
Of Iraq as Donald will forever Rumsfailed.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

No Exit for Exit Polls

No Exit for Exit Polls
By Mark Lysgaard
11/4/06

I thought I saw Sartre beginning to spin
In his French No Exit tomb.
That American networks refuse to announce
Exit polls as voters left the room.

In a free and fair election
A democratic landslide should ensue.
But the purveyors of the corporate press
Won’t give the voters a clue.

Exit polls in two thousand
Were accurate within one per cent.
Exit polls in ‘04
Showed Kerry as president.

So why won’t Tom Brokaw
Announce the Exit polls?
The purveyors of corporate media
Have corporate candidate goals.

Once again a corporate coup
Will rely on the voter machines.
That may keep Republicans in control
As our votes are wiped dry-cleaned.

It’s the No exit for exit polls
As the voter’s voice matters the least.
It’s a dead end for democracy
And feeding the corporate beast.

The Proselytute or Man of the Loin Cloth

The Proselytute or Man of the Loin Cloth
(The Rev. Ted Haggard gay prostitute meth solicitation poem.

It doesn’t get much better this!!)
By Mark Lysgaard
11/04/06

Like Moses parting the deep red sea
And getting the chosen people across,
Ted Haggard parted the morality gap
As the Religious- Right got lost.

Thirty million bewildered sheep
Wandered confused for a religious guide.
Ted Haggard left the secret closet
Be careful what you find inside.

Like a gay prostitute with meth for sale
You won’t find him in the yellow pages.
But just don’t look in Ted’s Blackberry
You might find evidence in various stages.

How could Ted with a direct phone line
To the White House for his faith based cause,
Be snorting meth with a gay prostitute
As he claims to obey God’s laws?

Proselytizing against same sex marriage,
But a same sex “massage” is OK.
As long as the closet has a gay prostitute
To prove that you’re not really gay.

It’s the ultimate icing on the election cake
As the sheep have been sheered and duped.
Christmas is getting here a lot earlier
Thanks to this preaching proselytute.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Careless Kerry

Careless Kerry
(John Kerry’s ineptness at telling a joke about George Bush’s intellectual laziness is deceitfully spun into an assault against the troops by the Right-wing media. Kerry should have known better)
By Mark Lysgaard
11/3/06

Careless Kerry on the stump
Afflicted with foot in mouth.
The joke he told of Clueless George
Saw his joke go pretty far south.

The joke was written and ready to slam
Clueless George on his lazy intellect.
But Bush and Snow and FOX -TV
Spun the joke like the usual suspects.

“Senator Kerry should apologize
For bashing our very troops.
They’re plenty smart to serve in Iraq,”
Said Bush while eating Fruit Loops.

Perhaps Bush should also apologize
For lying us into an illegal war,
Or maybe express his sorrowfulness
For our troops who die by the score.

Maybe Bush should say he’s sorry
For eavesdropping on Americans.
Or express his regrets for breaking the law
That he does again and again.

But as for Kerry explaining a joke
And sounding like an erudite clod.
The jokes should be left for Jon Stewart
So Kerry won’t quit his day job.

No Bid Election (Just a thought)

No Bid Election (Just a thought)
By Mark Lysgaard
11/3/06

In the land of the free and home of the brave
In the country that prides itself on choice.
Three elections have been visibly stolen
To silence we the people’s voice.

No bid election in 2000;
Decided by the Court of Supremes.
No bid election in ’02;
Stolen through dirty trick schemes.

No bid election in ’04;
Decided by black box machines.
Not to mention really long lines;
Subverted the American dream.

No bid elections in ’06;
For the chance to take back Congress.
Will the No bid Cons be sent back home?
Will the people finally have redress?

Perhaps the problem with the no bid elections
Is that we have just two parties to choose.
Perhaps the Dems should change their party name
To the Republican Party so they can not lose.

It’s the perfect way to give Karl Rove
An aneurism to figure out how to steal.
When the whole country looks entirely red
Progressive candidates will show who’s real.

Imagine an election where the people vote
On the issues instead of party lines.
Progressive candidates have the best shot at
Staying in power for a pretty long time.

It’s the perfect coup without the violence
To keep the corporations in check.
When we the people become educated;
Progressive candidates we’d elect.

So here’s to the Republican Party in charge;
Ready and ripe for mass infiltration.
The former Dems could have the ultimate job
For the people’s real education.

He's Number One!!

He’s Number One
(a school bus driver in Seattle stops at an intersection as the Bush motorcade notices the bus driver saluting the president with one finger raised)
By Mark Lysgaard
11/2/06

A school bus driver en route through Seattle
Was stopped at the president’s motorcade.
Instead of waving
Like others behaving
She saluted with a point to be made.

With one finger raised so firm and proud,
She saluted Bush in his limousine.
He’s number one
For all he’s done
Destroying the American Dream.

He’s number one in starting a war
And number one in running up debts.
He’s number one
In Washington
For corruption lest we forget.

But the school bus driver had a price to pay
For the freedom she thought she owned.
Her finger salute
Gave her the boot.
After Bush got off the phone.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Three New States

Three New States
By Mark Lysgaard
11/01/06

There are three new states that have been added
To the union for Republican control.
They’re not like Texas
With all its hexes.
But states to keep Congress they stole.

The three new states like three blind mice
Are running with smear campaigns.
It’s the kind of stuff
We’ve heard enough
Where the voters have utter disdain.

The first new state is the state of Confusion
Where corruption like an earthquake shook.
The fissures in the House
Saw their polls run south
Running from Bush like liars and crooks.

The second new state is the state of Denial
Where everything is rosy and sweet.
Like a deaf vacation
With no obligation
To import reality instead of deceit.

The third new state is the state of Failure.
It's a failed state for all to see.
Like three three blind mice
They may try to vote twice.
But still blind to our democracy.