Thursday, March 29, 2007

President Bufford T. Pusser

President Bufford T. Pusser
(a look at Fred Thompson if he ran for pres)
By Mark Lysgaard

From Bufford Pusser in “Walking Tall”
To Arthur Branch on “Law and Order”
Fred Thompson actor and Republican
Maybe the cure for the Pug’s disorder.

A new gallop poll that just came out
Showed Fred Thompson coming in third.
Right behind Pro-war McCaine
And Giulani’s vindictive words.

The GOP is grasping at straws
And straw polls give them a hunch.
Which candidates they can stand
And not get their undies in a bunch.

Perhaps if Bufford started swinging his stick
Walking Tall in his Tennessee drawl,
Then maybe the polls may reflect
How the Pugs are learning to crawl.

Or if Arthur Branch starts scolding McCoy
For his gracious Liberal demeanor.
Then Republicans may feel secure
That their dirt is a lit bit cleaner.

It’s all about the Pug’s PR campaign
And marketing a good vibration.
Will Fred Thompson one day be prez?
Perhaps in his imagi-Nation!

Bit By Bite

Bit By Bite

(Russian intelligence has discovered that the US is planning on hitting 20 targets in Iran to disrupt their nuclear energy plants. Intelligence shows that the attack "Operation Bite" will take place on April 6, 2007.)

By Mark Lysgaard


Not even McGruff the crime dog

Could take a bite out of an upcoming crime.

With three warships looming in the Persian Gulf

It’s really just a matter of time.

The leash of American aggression

Has been loose for the past six years.

The UN attempts to put on the muzzle,

But the fangs show their anger and fear.

Will Bush throw the belligerent bones;

Playing fetch with our own warships?

Will missiles land on Iranian soil?

Will the truth become fully eclipsed?

Will Operation Bite become

Another precursor to dirty war tricks?

Or will our congress try to reel in

The Bush dog and get him fixed?

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Goodling's Fifth

Goodling’s Fifth

(Monica Goodling’s, assistant US Attorney General to Alberto Gonzales, has decided to plead the Fifth Amendment to testify in front of Congress about the firing of federal prosecutors. But the Fifth Amendment is used in criminal court cases not for investigations in Congress.)


Before she sits in front of Congress,

We heard Goodling’s lawyer advise,

“Now’s the time to take the Fifth

Before incriminating or talking lies.”

But isn’t the Fifth Amendment used

In criminal cases against self incrimination?

Congress is investigating document dumps

To bring truth to the investigation.

Congress is not a court room

Where criminal proceedings reside.

Congress investigates to see if the facts

Are consistent to see if people lied.

Why is Bush and the DOJ*

Asking Goodling to plead the Fifth?

Is it a Fifth of JB or Jack Daniels?

Getting drunk and repeating myths.

Or maybe the “Fifth” was a misspelling

And the second “F” should be an “L”.

Will Goodling plead she’s part of the “Filth”

To keeping the lies buried in Hell.

The paradox of this administration

Using the Fifth for congressional blocks.

I’ll bet it’s a fifth of whiskey they need

And we the people need justice de-toxed!

*Department of Justice

Curing Couric-itus

Curing Couric-itus

(a poem for Katie Couric)

By Mark Lysgaard


It took less than 60 minutes

For the diagnosis to incite us

That the anchor for the network news

Suffers from terminal Couric-itus.

A hapless, hazardous, hypocritical condition

That afflicts the CBS News anchor.

Interviewing Edwards and wife

To question his motive with rancor.

“How can you move forward and campaign

When your wife is ill with cancer?”

Some people say that Couric-itus

Embodies the actual answer.

Did Couric take time to console

Her spouse when he was sick?

Or did she continue news networking?

Was her morality turning tricks?

Whether it’s Couric-itus or Couric-tosis;

This compassionate conservative disease

Should be dealt with mass populism,

John Edwards keep running please!

Friday, March 23, 2007

The Republemmings Off Capitol Hill

The Republemmings off Capitol Hill

By Mark Lysgaard


There’s an exciting event happening in DC

Of the party who fell off the Hill.

What’s all the excitement

About the indictments?

It’s about justice with coffers to fill.

From Abramoff to Scooter Libby

The Dukester and Bob Ney;

The Republemmings dive

Into the justice bee hive;

Stung as they are sent away.

It’s a chain gang of greedy gangster

When “Bug Spray Tom”dove in.

Who could be next

In the justice context?

How many know how to swim?

It’s The Capitol Hill leap in Washington DC.

The Republemmings want gold in the event.

Their gymnastic like diving

Is twisting and conniving.

Watch them dive for this president!

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Sampson and De Liars

Sampson and De Liars

(A look at Assistant US Attorney Kyle Sampson e-mails in the Gonzalez DOJ that reveal the premeditated firing of federal US prosecutors for partisan reasons.)

By Mark Lysgaard


Federal attorney Kyle Sampson

Was the first greased pig to squeal.

“I’m not going to take the fall!

Going to jail is not in my deal!

But I’ll tell you ‘bout Brett Tolman

Assistant Attorney in the House.

This was the House once run by the Pugs

With rodents like a Patriot Act mouse.

The mouse emerged in the Patriot Act

Between all of the fascist insulation,

Bush has the right to fire and appoint

Fed prosecutors without confirmation.

How could this language gotten past

The judicious eyes of Arlen Specter?

He now sits there apparently confused

No oversight by our electors?

Federal attorney Brett Tolman

Slipped a Mickey mouse in our water,

With language to allow more presidential power

Like a rape drug given to our daughters.

So will the subpoenas be issued at once

And how many cabinet men may be fired?

We’ll watch to see how justice unfolds

The likes of Sampson and the de liars.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Circumscribing Subpoenas

Circumscribing Subpoenas
(A Freudian Trip through Bush Land)
By Mark Lysgaard

Bush rejects the subpoena threats
Since he hates looking at his subpoenas.
Angered that Dems may work his staff
Makes Bush act a whole lot meana.

“How dare congress challenge my rule!
I’m the sole king of my domain!
Get that subpoena out of my face!
That microphone brings disdain.

There’s no reason we have to talk
Into dirty microphones under oath.
Telling lies is what we do best….
Why do my lips have sores and growths?

So get that subpoena outta my face
And keep it away from my staff!
Any infections that the truth may bring
May cause an impeachable rash!"

Sunday, March 18, 2007

The Loyalty Oath and the Oil to Loath

The Loyalty Oath and the Oil To Loath

By Mark Lysgaard


In the mirror of juxtapositions

We see the face of the energy war.

It’s not the reflections of Osama bin Laden

But Exxon and Mobile and more.

It’s the face of British Petroleum

And Shell and Chevron we see.

It’s the coalition of the filling stations

Supplying our ailing economy.

It’s the Loyalty oath for the Big five

And Cheney’s secret energy.

A public servant for corporate order

And American hegemony.

It’s poison pumps that push the needles

In the oil fields in Iraq.

As Arab people sit and watch

Unemployed and trapped.

The ruse of terror that coats the face

That tries to make us afraid,

Continues to occupy the Iraqi place

With terror that’s American made.

So as the Big five continues to plunder

And Cheney signs their loyalty oath,

The mirror reflects how the Arabs feel

With anger and oil to loath.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Shaking Out Sheik Mohammad

Shaking out Sheik Mohammad

(With the Department of Justice under fire for firing federal attorneys for partisan reasons, it’s time to bring out someone who has been in custody for four years for a convenient confession and distraction away from the DOJ)
By Mark Lysgaard


It’s been four years since he’s been caught

And he suddenly makes the confession.

"I was the mastermind on 9/11

For evil and despicable lessons."

But how did we obtain the facts

That shook the sheik from his shoes?

Could it be that we also used

Torture to get these clues?

Whatever happened to due process?

It seems to be long since overdue.

Aren’t we a nation of laws and not men?

Except for Bush and Alberto’s crew.

And why now do we get the confession

By a disheveled shirted Sheik in custody?

Could it be that Alberto needs

A distracting card from up his sleeve?

Someone else please take the heat

You can hear it under Alberto’s breath

Like a reject slob from Animal House

Let’s put the Sheik quickly to death.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Alberto Going, Alberto Going, Alberto Gone...

Alberto Going, Alberto Going, Alberto Gone
(Alberto Gonzales is up against his own wall of Justice as he takes responsibility for the political firings of federal prosecutors, but doesn’t know how it happened. Hmmm…)

By Mark Lysgaard


Inside the Justice cloak are partisan daggers
By the Attorney General with a big turnkey.
He’s turning tricks with key members
As federal lawyers are told to leave.

There’s a trail of smears and dirty tricks
From California to New Mexico
Heather Wilson and Pete Diminici
Call Rove for what we don’t know.

The Federal attorneys doing their jobs
And then eight of them were suddenly fired,
Like Carol Lam who got the “Dukester”
And David Iglesias who was forced to retire.

It’s strange that six of the eight let go
Were investigating corruption indictments.
Like federal bribes with military contractors
For George, that’s too much excitement.

And what about those federal prosecutors
Who did NOT go after those for voter fraud?
In Florida and Ohio where Republicans won
Did these attorneys’s sit back and applaud?

So now subpoenas will finally be issued
To the administration by light’s early dawn.
Just when will Alberto finally be going?
When will Alberto B. Gone?

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Turdblossom and Weh

Turdblossoms* and Weh

(Revelations from the McClatchy News service that New Mexico GOP chair Alan Weh contacted the White House (Karl Rove*) to remove Federal DA David Iglesias for partisan reasons)
By Mark Lysgaard

New Mexico has an electric cushion

Just right for the GOP chair.

It fits the fanny of Alan Weh

It’s shocking to hear him swear.

Back in ’06 before the mid terms

Weh wanted dirt on the Dems.

But no scandals to pursue from the DA

No means to justify those ends.

But then the call went to the White House

Like a favor to ask the Corleone Don

“Is anything ever going to happen to that guy? [DA]”

The DC voice replied, “He’s gone!”

David Iglesias was doing his job

When he found a pink slip in his box.

Fired for doing non-partisan work

Can you feel the New Mexican shocks?

Would Justice make a sound at all

When it falls and self-implodes?

If Alberto sits on the rule of law,
Will we hear the flush of commodes?

The shocks from the GOP chair

Produced fissures in the White House wall.

Eight more attorneys also gone

Can you hear the sound of justice fall?

How deep in the White House wall

Will the fissures go to make it sway?

Deep inside we can smell the foul odor

Of Turdblossom and Alan Weh.

Friday, March 09, 2007

The Brazilian Toast

The Brazilian Toast
(President Bush's recent arrival to Brazil to show he has an interest in learning about bio-fuels. Mr. Bush had a crude awakening...)
By Mark Lysgaard

There's a banquet underway in Brazil
And its guest is you know who.
It's the one who said, "We're addicted to oil."
A phrase by a man who loves crude.

A crude awakening is underway
To a man we could hardly push
Who is now looking at bio-fuels...
Shall we now call him "Bio-fuel Bush?"

A man who gave away huge tax breaks
And plenty of corporate oil subsidies.
Are these the acts of of a man who cares
About the future of global humanity?

So now the PR team is ready to bring
A photo-op lens for a bio-fuel Brazilian "sale."
Shall we toast that he finally understands
Or toss our drinks like those special cocktails?

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

11 Out of 11 Like 4 Out of 5

11 Out of 11 Like 4 Out of 5
(the recent prosecution and guilty verdict of Lewis "Scooter" Libby raise interesting questions as to where the investigation goes from here...)
By Mark Lysgaard

Remember '05's Fall Guy?
Scooter Libby under Dick Cheney?
What's all the excitement
About this indictment
That could drive the Right-wingers zany?

11 Out of 11 Federal grand jurors
Indicted Scooter on 4 out of 5 counts.
Will he go to jail
As quick as a snail
Filing appeals like checks that bounce?

It wasn't just perjuring himself
But obstructing justice he was blamed.
About cooked intelligence
And complete negligence
Of exposing the covert Valerie Plame.

So how far will the investigations go
When congress needs an independent prosecutor?
Will congress investigate
Before it's too late
So that Bush, Cheney, and Rove may join Scooter?

Sunday, March 04, 2007

Vitriolic's Synonymous

Vitriolic's Synonymous
(this poem was actually written last August, but I decided to bring it up again for the recent and outrageous remarks by Ann Coulter against John Edwards at the CPAC [Conservative Political Action Convention] in Washington, D.C. How the Hell does this woman get a forum for hate speech? Then again, how do many of the Right-wing lunatics get their forums?)
By Mark Lysgaard

There's a group that meets everyday
Across the publics airwaves.
They beat the drum of hate so loud
Driving listeners into their caves.

"Be afraid, be very afraid," they exclaim
"There are enemies at our back door.
They seek to take away our freedom
From wicked closets or foreign shores!"

It's Coulter, Limbaugh, Gibson, O'Reilly
Savage, Glenn Beck, and Sean Hannity.
They're vitriolics drunk on vitriolism
Hatred for our common humanity.

There should be a 12 step program
That should try to keep them inspired.
A psychological test for telling the truth;
Sodium pentothal should be required.

First they must recognize they are powerless
From lying and spewing insanity,
That the laws built in the Constitution
Be obeyed to protect humanity.

Decide to turn their life over to God
But not the Right-wing Christian version,
And take moral inventory of all their lies
And to cast out xenophobic aspersions.

Admit to those on the public airwaves
The exact nature of their wrongs,
And ask for humble forgiveness by us
So we can all just try to get along.

To ask that God who is all knowing
And is Liberal with his grace to forgive,
Grant that their defect in character disorders
May allow them to repent and live.

They should make a list of all they have harmed
And willing to make all amends,
Even if the ones who have been harmed
Don't want them as cocktail friends.

They continue to make personal inventory
And when wrong promptly admit;
No passive aggressive or sarcastic remarks
No more deceptions or throwing fits.

And through prayer and honest meditation
To improve their relationship with God,
As long as money is not their religion
For the ultimate of Republo-facades.

And after their spiritual awakenings
That they evangelize for the facts,
And criticize cable and broadcast liars
No more Vitriolics or Right-wing hacks!

Friday, March 02, 2007

The Quick Stand

The Quick Stand
By Mark Lysgaard

From Pakistan to Afghanistan
The standards are lower indeed.
Dick Cheney smirks as he stands knee deep
In a sea of blood money and greed.

There's Kurdistan and Standard Oil
And outstanding debts at home
And the Standard and Poors and the poor who stand
At soup kitchens that stand alone.

It's grandstanding for photo ops
And General Custer's very last stand.
We have Standard porcelain urinals
And standards we should command.

It's standing down when things go wrong
Or handstands when we're upside down.
It's united we fall and divided we stand
They are quick stands where sand is found.